Growing up in the Adirondack Park, I have come to admire solitude. The small town atmosphere and scenic views has grown on me throughout the years, and now wherever I go solitude has become a necessity in organizing and understanding my life. Isolation has had great effects on me while I mature and slowly figure myself out. Although studies do not have conclusive evidence, I definitely have benefited from a simple five minute timeout on a bench.
Westport, NY-my hometown- has some of the most peaceful eateries, roads, views, and places to just relax in the ADK. I believe this is true of most small towns and even cities. Located on Lake Champlain filled with mountains and rivers, Westport is a magnificent place. I always hated living in a town rather than a city until I decided question myself. I found that cities with all the commotion can distract and cause you to get away from who you truly are. Now being a student of SUNY Potsdam, I feel I must search for places of solitude here, since college tends to attract stress with exams and papers sometimes even falling on the same week. It is nice to take some time away and step back from the disorder of the week.
My experiences have led me to understand life. Many times everything going on throughout the day has distracted me from focusing on the truly important things. For example, television is a constant distraction I realized this and knew I needed a new form of relaxation which would allow me reflect on my week. This led me to try many new things like learning an instrument and eventually relaxing in a secluded area. Potsdam has many secluded areas; however, people rarely take the time out of their lives to view them. My personality drove me to find new experiences, and solitude was one that grew on me subconsciously and developed into something I now value.
The routine that we all develop from our adolescence is to go to school for hours and then relax for hours. When I was 9 or so, my favorite show was Boy Meets World. I would sit down and watch as long as my mother would let me, wasting time getting caught up with whatever Corey and Topanga were doing. Until recently, I really only used T.V. as my main outlet for relaxation. I couldn’t take watching television as a daily routine. I felt as if I was wasting time. Now going out for a walk or listing to music has made me much more relaxed and helped organize my life. Yes, it is nice to watch a show or two, but usually that turns into five shows and you’re not really relaxing, but are distracted by the television screen. Walk around campus, walk around Potsdam. It has so much to offer that Television never will be able to reach. Speaking to people around the town and school of Potsdam has led me to believe that the happier people are the ones who leave their room or house. Not just for classes and work, but to go out and join clubs or go to a movie.
Humans are not meant to be confined anywhere. Many students that stay in their rooms might eventually become less and less adventurous and want to be in a place they already know, home. They will leave Potsdam for home once every two weeks, then once every week; and then develop a habit of hating the campus not because they had a bad experience with it, but because they don’t know anything about it. Sometimes you feel like you have all the time in the world to experience something, but before you realize it your life is complete with little room for enjoy a simple break. One of the most frequently said statements by upperclassmen I spoke with is that they didn’t go out into Potsdam enough. Maybe you will find that place to go on Friday afternoon that relaxes you after you took a test and before the weekend kicks off. We are college students and to let this experience go by to only focus on being studious would be a missed opportunity you will never get back.
Taking that simple break has changed the way I live my life. Before, my stress level would slowly build up; now, I live much more easily and clearly. When a problem occurs, I now handle it better than I ever have. In high school, I had many places that helped me along my way. From a park bench in New York City to my car on the way home from school, taking that small break was almost always the answer to my problem.
In the beginning of my senior year I decided to take that break. When I lost my last soccer game as a high school student I was driving by an old school on the way back to my house. I decided to pull over get out and relax on one of the benches in the back. There I thought for a while, since it felt like time flashed so fast from freshman year to senior year I couldn’t let that happen again. The bench outside the school house which looked like it was from the 1800s, was quiet and secluded. I thought about a lot there and enjoyed it so much it became a remedy every time I became stressed out, or just wanted to relax. Later in the year-when the end of high school became really clear-I found many more places where I would leave school and eat lunch or just relax with a couple of friends. Solitude can certainly be experienced with other people. Before I decided to take the break I went would subconsciously have solitude every day.
Before I actually thought about it, my car rides home were as normal as everyone else’s. After school and before basketball practice the ride became the time I had alone until I got home. This is where I would reach solitude, on my 5 minute car ride home alone. Some days I would even pull into my driveway and just sit there for a couple of minutes until I was ready to get out. I always questioned myself for doing it. The car was off, there was no music, but I still subconsciously did it on occasion if I was not ready to leave the solitude of the car. People fear being alone and many times that is what is really in the way of reaching solitude. Getting over the fear turns the negative into something very beneficial.
In Solitude: An Exploration of Being Alone, Long and Averill explain that our society has named solitude as loneliness and has turned it into a negative state. Their research included a key word search in a Psycho Info database of loneliness and solitude; the results were 1,790 hits for loneliness and 177 for solitude (Averill and Long, para. 9). This shows us that a large majority of people look at solitude as something to be feared. This affected my impression until I decided to create my own opinion of taking time out to be alone. Now I use solitude whenever I am over stimulated with college life or just people in general. Even when visiting my own family I take time off because it can become chaotic at times.
Almost all of my family lives in West Brighten, Staten Island in NYC. I always have a great time when I visit, but still the weeklong vacation can sometimes get irritating and busy. I decided to check out a park I had always seen near my aunt’s house but never had enough ambition to go into. The park had a great place that overlooks NYC’s Manhattan. Although it reminds me of a tragic time, it’s still a pretty amazing view that once had the twin towers but now has the statue of liberty and empire state building. You can observe the commotion of NYC while sitting on a park bench. The bench has always been empty whenever I’m there which makes me believe that people don’t take the time out if the week for some solitude. Another Study in Solitude: An Exploration of Being Alone showed in a 1996 poll showed that 31% of residents in the U.S. wanted more time to themselves where only 6% wanted less (Averill and Long, para. 10). Maybe this bench had a bad story that only the locals knew about, but my guess would be that in a chaotic life even though people want more time alone they rarely take it. Even when given the opportunity to be in a beautiful place such as the park bench in NYC everyday people still don’t seek solitude.
These are my places of relaxation, and find places here will take some courage to go out and explore Potsdam, the same goes for you. At first it was hard to leave my comfortable routine and attempt to find places, but once you find them and break away from the routine you start to appreciate your surroundings and life a lot more. Go outside and walk around. Sometimes having no plan can lead you somewhere. Or, go see a show at Crane. Solitude can most definitely be experienced among others. Whatever the case, find the places to relax and you will become a much more multifaceted person.
In The Power of Place by Winfred Gallaghar, chapter 9 entitled environmental addictions, explains how a study in the 1960s by Roger Barker call “psychological ecology” showed us the impact of our surroundings have more of an influence on us then our personalities. With that in mind, if you’re surrounding is constantly your dorm room and a class rooms you’re never able to breathe the fresh air and walk around. When we are in these environments we all try to fall into the status quo. Meaning, we are not being individuals but trying to be students or teachers. Until we leave the areas we are never reconnected with our individualism, but remain just another student. (Gallagher Chap. 9)
Another article in Oprah’s magazine written by Tim Jarvis also talks about the importance of our surrounding. He includes research has show that the organization of our homes can actually can “influence certain brain processes such as those involved with stress, emotion, and memory” which is a quote in his article by Eve Edelstein, Ph.D.. Our environment influences us more then we all think. Being in a certain environment has a major impacts on all of us. (Jarvis, para. 3)
Every area has its highlight(s) and Potsdam’s is music. If you enjoy Symphonies, Crane offers many concerts. If you enjoy rock, there are places all over Potsdam that have signs for open-mic- nights where musicians play every week. It seems that Potsdam is a town and school that love music. So take advantage of this. I went out to experience as much as I could; and Potsdam ended up surprising me a lot.
This town-although has around 3,600 undergraduate students in Potsdam and another about 3,500 in Clarkson, it is a very welcoming town. (Before I became a student I assumed there was an ongoing feud between the students and residents because of loud parties or getting cops involved things like that). I was able to walk in the clock tower, through a church; any question I had that people could answer was answered, just because I was a Potsdam student and was doing research for a college paper. I wanted an overall view of Potsdam so I went everywhere. In Ives Park I was getting greeted every time with a friendly hello, in the coffee shop a stranger initiated a conversation with me about my Psychology class, and every day the workers in union are extremely friendly. A guest professor in Crane Live! Who has lived all over the world referred to Potsdam as a nest. Where anyone can come and join the area if they want to, but when you are here you are now part of a community. This seems to be very true when walking around Potsdam. This place has developed a welcoming atmosphere.
Overlooking the Raquette River, Ives Park is the perfect quiet place to go for lunch, a place to chill, or just a walk. Five minutes away from campus, Ives Park is the closest and most as relaxing place I have been in Potsdam. Surprisingly, the park had some traffic on the Tuesday afternoon I went. Nearly half of the benches were filled, the gazebo had a book reader, and the trail had many dogs and power walkers. However, I still found a place tucked away in the back. I have always been impressed with the sky line in Potsdam. Today was just a picture perfect as always. With picnic tables this is a great place to come with some friends, food and beverages. I definitely recommend at least checking it out once.
Being a student in Potsdam it is not practical to go outside for a walk every day the weather simply doesn’t cooperate for a majority of the year. These were the indoor places that seemed to be able to create the most solitude.
I must say if you want a different experience, visit the Labyrinth in Van Husen. I walked in not knowing what to expect being new to the idea of a Labyrinth. The door was left unlocked inviting any adventurous person in. I walked in and took off my shoes-a rule of the labyrinth room- and absorbed the experience. Labyrinths are mazes which you walk through and eventually reach the middle where you can sit if you like, or just walk back out of the Labyrinth. This particular Labyrinth is painted on the floor. I weaved in and out of the Labyrinth which was strange.
Honestly, I could have just walked across the floor and ignored the lines and sat in the middle, but walking through it all was relaxing in a bizarre way. On the way out I had a thought, that you could never walk faster out then you did in. It’s completely true. The labyrinth slows you down. On the home page of lesionsforliving.com it states “The Labyrinth represents a journey to our own center and back again out into the world” (No author. Para. 2). A little corny, but the feeling I had something similar to that. On the way in you anticipate reaching middle as a relaxation point; you just have to walk thru it all. But on the way out you have already reached the goal of relaxation, now you just retract your steps until you exit the same place you entered. It is something that I recommend trying out at least once. For me sitting in the middle of the Labyrinth helped me with this paper. I sat down and thought about how solitude has benefited me in my life. Many of my forgotten times of the NYC bench or when after I lost my last soccer game came back to me. It was peaceful in the Labyrinth, but it’s not the only place of solitude.
The coffee shop on Main Street had a great feel. To me local coffee shops-like the one in Potsdam- have always been a place to hang out. When I would visit my father on the weekend occasionally he would give my brother and I some money and tell us to go get some hot chocolate and cookies. We would walk down the train tracks to a small coffee shop eat and drink our cookies and hot chocolate and talk about whatever came to our minds. I walked in having an open mind for whatever they had. They had a lot. After a while I went with the waitress’s favorite, a double shot of espresso, with chocolate. As I waited I took the time to look around the shop. With Jimi Hendrix playing softly in the background, the aroma of fresh coffee, friendly customers, and staff, I enjoyed the coffee shop enough to stay for much longer then I planned.
Another article Is loneliness a psychological dysfunction? which explains the main factor in the way of benefiting from solitude is that people have always learned that solitude and being alone is something bad. They explain that loneliness is not a psychological dysfunction but is based on the perception of how you define loneliness. (Nilsson and Dagfinn, para.) So, I ask how do you define loneliness? Is it something to be feared or embraced?
In an Article Katie Goodman wrote in the Oprah magazine she explained how her e-mail, something that was supposed to make her life less complicated, actually turned into the main factor in making her stressed out. Her solution was a 30 day detox from e-mail. For me e-mailing isn’t a big issue, but to Goodman it causes a great deal of stress (Goodman). Everybody is different and when trying to be relaxed and in solitude you have to do what feels right for yourself.
When I was a sophomore in high school I helped do a leadership/college seminar for Paul Smiths College. Regardless, there main philosophy of the day was the statement “it’s all about the experience”. It was all over the campus and written on out shirts. As I kept the shirt throughout the years it became kind of a joke to me, and now still is, but in a way it’s true. College is all about the experience, definitely not just about grades. They throw you in a room with stranger(s) and give you a lot of free time to either do work or whatever you want. College makes you find yourself. That said, if you just go to class and sleep maybe watch a little television what experience are you getting? College is the time to experience as many things as you possibly can, solitude being one.
There is no doubting that solitude has changed my life. Throughout all my experiences my main goal was to find myself. Television inspired me become unique. I was tired of having my life consist of being a regiment of school T.V. and sports. I knew there were better ways out there to enjoy life, so I searched and found that Solitude can inspire your deepest passions that are now concealed but have the potential to do brilliant things. Now I’m telling you, do not live a rhythm-less voyage. Become your own person. Although it is easy to settle into your own routine, you will never fully develop as a college student. Yes, we are all classified under a certain major which does de-individualize us; however, we all still have the opportunity to make our own brand of life whatever it may be. So I ask you to challenge yourself in going out and experiencing the life of college. Solitude will open new door and close the old, and in college that is one of the most important factors.
Bibliography
Gallagher, Winfred “The Power of Place.” 1993. Chapter 14-15. 20 Nov. 2009.
Goodman , Katie. "Her 30-day e-mail detox." Oprah Magizine (2009): 1. Web. 3 Dec 2009.
Jarvis, Tim. "Mood, memory affected by your home.." Oprah Magazine (2008): 1. Web. 3 Dec 2009.
Unknown "The Laybrinth." lessions4living.com. Web. 3 Dec 2009.
Long, C.R., and J.R. Averill "Solitude: An Exploration of Benefits of Being Alone." Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour 33.1 (2003): 21-44. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 23 Nov. 2009.
Nilsson, Brita, Unni Å. Lindström, and Dagfinn Nåden "Is loneliness a psychological dysfunction? A literary study of the phenomenon of loneliness." Scandinavian Journal of Caring Sciences 20.1 (2006): 93-101. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 23 Nov. 2009.
Schober, Martin. Interview with Martin Schober. Face to Face. 1 Dec. 2009.
Bennett, Greg. Interview with Greg Bennett. Face to Face. 1 Dec. 2009.
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